Updated: May 18
As we learn about Asia Argento being accused of rape, there are a few things to bear in mind:
1. Yes, men can be raped. Erections are often a reflex, as is ejaculation. This is a scientific fact.
A man or boy can be terrified/disgusted/non-consenting and still have an erection.
2. There are more cases of women-perpetrated rape than we realize at this point. Why?
Because even the best studies/surveys of survivors often ask questions that eliminate victims of female perps. IE "Have you been penetrated against your will?" (Made up Q for illustration only)
3. Many male victims of female perps don't know that they can call what happened to them "rape" or even assault. They think only women or boy victims can identify as such.
So when asked just if they've been assaulted/raped, they may simply say no.
4. Like survivors of any gender, male survivors may tell themselves they asked for or wanted the assault. Particularly true of heterosexual male victims of women.
A big narrative is, "why would any guy say no to sex? Are you gay? Not man enough?"
(We are a homophobic society).
5. Asia Argento may be a victim of Weinstein and also a perpetrator. A person can be both. We don't have the facts, but it's certainly possible.
6. A consequence of toxic masculinity is the idea that guys are sex-crazed & women are supposed to be gatekeepers, the ones who say no.
It's dangerous because it teaches men that they have no self-control, and teaches everyone that men won't say "no" or don't mean it if they do.
7. Men and boys deserve the right to bodily autonomy. For their "no" to be respected - even better, to have sex proceed only after an enthusiastic "yes" - just like women, and even with female partners.
Source, Yogesh Pawar's Facebook post here.