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Writer's pictureAnupam Dubey

#PindDaan at Nashik, Maharashtra


#PindDaan at Nashik, Maharashtra

Members of Vaastav Foundation, Mumbai chapter of 'Save Indian Family Movement' performed #PindDaan of their relationships with their wives and of Toxic Feminism on October 7th at Nashik.

Recently during our 10th Annual National Men’s Right Meet of NGOs from SIFM group held in Varanasi, few people had done pind daan of their dead relationships with their wives and also of Toxic Feminism. There were a lot of people who couldn't join in that event. So Vaastav organized this PindDaan in Nashik, during the shraadh period before Amavasya.

Why this form of #PindDaan? Pind daan is usually done for ancestors and relatives who're no more alive or believed to be no more alive. It is done after death of a person or if a person is untraceable for long. It signifies that the one who is dead is free from material world and on their journey towards moksha. More importantly, it is a therapeutic ritual, bringing closure to the person performing it. It frees the one performing it from the relationship that they held with the deceased.

We've a lot of men who are separated or divorced from their wives. They carry a dead corpse of their marital relationships on their shoulders, only because the courts delay in giving justice or judgements. Some people even after divorce are not able to emotionally accept that the relationship is over for good. These men are perplexed to see their marriages being broken for no fault of theirs. They dream about a family all their lives and suddenly are pushed into false criminal and civil cases because the girl couldn't adjust to new responsibilities or wanted to marry someone else or just plainly lost interest in the marriage.

For such men, who had seen marriage as a long lasting relationship, but which ended abruptly, the act of pind daan helps like a catharsis. They had considered that marriages are for life, but also know they kept their commitment. The ritual acts like a mental accounting trick like New Year resolutions work, setting them free from their past, to begin life on a new slate.

We've had situations wherein a father, disagreeing over the choice of his daughter’s partner, does her pind daan, considering she's dead for him and the relationship is over. Also it's not rare that, a brother could do his alive brother's pind daan if they are in a dispute announcing he's dead for him.

Similarly, these husbands will do their wives pind daan, signifying an end to their relationship. It has a cathartic effect of liberating these men who want to move on in life from toxic relationships.

We'll also want Toxic Feminism, the feminism which instead of Equality for all, pushes for gynocentrism - female dominance and discrimination against men, to be dead. So pind daan of Toxic Feminism also will be done on that day.

Does this have any religious significance or has sanction from scriptures? This is more a therapeutic ritual than a religious one. In any case, we should remember that Hindu religion doesn't sanction divorce too. These men feel their relationships are over only legally, not as per the religious scriptures. So for such people, this act will be a moment of transition that allows them to start afresh, irrespective of it's significance through the scriptures.

Is this against anyone? This is only to help men, not directed against anyone. Ideally, toxic form of feminism shouldn't exist and no rational person would support it.

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