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Marriage is the new extortion racket: Pooja Bedi

I’ve always been known as a feminist and someone who champions the cause of women. I’ve actively participated in many movements, debates, discussions, events, charities that strengthen the role and rights of women in our society. However, it’s been disturbing and upsetting to see women actively misusing laws, either egged on by friends in similar circumstances, or by their lawyers. There are at least 7 to 8 cases recently brought to my notice of women who have married men and within a few months of marriage, start creating issues and demanding huge compensations for divorce. I want you as a reader to assess the situation I am to describe below, and want you to share your thoughts across any of my social media handles.

A woman, who is financially independent, has a big property in her name and a good bank balance dated a seemingly wealthy man for a few months, and pressured him to get married stating astrology and stars and auspicious time lines. She admits that the relationship was not going great guns even before marriage. After a few months of marriage, she starts ranting and raving, creates discord, and moves out. Within a few months she starts the process of asking for a divorce. Either on behest of lawyer or family, she keeps moving back in and out of her marital home and harassing her husband for a hefty settlement in order to set him free. He on the other hand has no assets, a business with substantial debt, no great bank balances. She demands he take money from his parents to “pay her off”, and end it painlessly. When he protests she then threatens to file cases against his parents under various sections of law meant to protect women. This, to me, is horrifying, despicable, and legal extortion! She was earning before marriage, earning during marriage and now says “Pay me to leave or I will use every law against you”. Research shows that over 31000 fake cases were registered by women under section 498 A in two years. Greedy and vengeful women grossly misusing pro-women laws has resulted in verdicts by the Supreme court that have come as a big blow for women who are in real victims within their marriages. Should a man and his family be made to cough up money just because a signature was put on a dotted line? We talk about streedhan, so in all fairness and equality, what about purushdhan? What according to you should be a strong and fair message sent out? What new laws need to be formulated to also protect men’s and their families? What punishment should be meted out to women filing false cases? How do we stop marriage from becoming a money making extortion racket? How can we protect women who are real victims from being denied justice they deserve, given that fake cases by greedy women are steadily “unchampioning” the cause of real women in real distress?

I am a mother of two children and sometimes my kids just don’t listen to me. I have tried adopting various ways to discipline my kids, but nothing works. I have recently found a way which involves disconnecting from them and thereby not responding to anything they ask for. But I have also come to realise that I am just torturing my kids this way. What should I do?

Parenting is not easy. Remember, it is you who wanted to have them, and also that being a parent is not ownership. They have a right to their own ways, opinions and preferences. The only way to bring up kids is to make sure they have the right value systems ingrained and that you fill their lives and home with lots of happiness and love. That doesn’t mean indulging or over indulging, it means being warm and affectionate, a good guide and a great role model. They will always imbibe what surrounds them, so being cold and cut off is the worst thing you want them to be.

I am a 29-year-old woman and work in an extremely stressful environment. So much so, that I have started getting some sort of sadistic pleasure out of seeing people go through trouble. For example, if someone is running towards the lift in a hurry, and I am all alone inside the lift, I simply close the door. On another occasion, I threw ice cold water on my night watchman when I saw him sleeping during his work hours. However, now I have started feeling terrible. What should I do?

You clearly need to the right outlets to vent out the stress, and also better coping mechanisms to handle further stress. Your life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it. Find a sport or hobby that allows you to release the negative energy. Listening to certain music can help you keep calm and focused, so listen to it during work breaks. Don’t be in a hurry to climb the ladder, a bad attitude will anyway not get you the promotion you want or create friends at work. Set easier targets for yourself and remember, slow and steady wins the race.

I am a 16-year-old girl and in love with a guy who is four years older to me. My parents have recently learnt about my affair and they are furious about it. My father has even said that he may send me off to a boarding school, so that I cannot be in touch with my boyfriend anymore. I don’t know what to do. Please help.

If you’re doing well in your studies, tell them your studies aren’t being impacted and that you would appreciate trust. Define boundaries and tell them that you will not cross them. If your grades are not up to mark tell them you will put in extra effort to show them improved marks and that this happy state is going to only make you better in every way.

Source, here.

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