Updated: May 7
Someone has very rightly said that marriage in life is a long journey of adjustments, compromises, and sacrifices, but nowadays gynocentrism and hollow feminism is dominating so heavily that the basic fabric of the marital relationship that is supposed to tie the couple in a strong bond of love, understanding, and togetherness is also losing it’s relevance.
Many people, including few experts, says that the reason behind the ever-increasing rate of divorce is the influence of outsiders between the married couple. But I wonder, is that so?
The joint family system is diminishing faster than it was expected. A large majority of married couples are living as nuclear families, so there’s hardly any interference from the family members. Life, professional and livelihood compulsions in an ordinary persons’ life are so strong that it becomes difficult to engage socially too beyond a certain limit, which again doesn’t leave much of scope for outsiders to interfere with the couple.
But, still, the rate of divorce is increasing every passing day! When most of the married couples today lead their lives as a separate social entity comprising only of the spouses and children, divorces are happening! What could be the reason behind this?
The reason actually is Outside Influence! Yes, it’s Outside Influence!
The Outside Influence
Outside influence doesn’t necessarily mean someone from outside interfering and trying to influence your marital life or understanding! It’s the influence of those other outside activities which couples allow to interfere with their relationship! It’s the non-desirable interference that couples knowingly themselves invite and ruin their relationship.
In our country, the law is not a part of course curriculum in schools and it’s not taught anywhere unless you specifically choose to study law and pursue LLB, so an ordinary citizen at large is not expected to know the law! But the misuse of gender-biased laws in our country is so rampant and visible that an ordinary man thinks thousand times even before doing or saying something absolutely right, in case he thinks that if he did so could be unpleasant for his wife even marginally.
In this new era of feminism, women empowerment and liberal hypocrisy, definitions of almost everything that relates to spouses or marital relations have changed. Today, husband and wife marry each other as equals, however, immediately after the marriage; the husband gets reduced to merely a protector and a provider and legally bound to fulfil all his duties, whereas wife gets all the rights.
With all the rights comes expectations from life and husband, and that’s when wife considers options where husband seldom has his say!
Taking decisions unilaterally considering options can be welcome as long they are based entirely on what’s best for a better married-life, whereas wives base every such decision almost always on three things:
How to impress others,
What other people are going to think about her,
Whether there’s something or someone else that will make her happier.
Wives compare husband and relationship with him to other people, they compare with what other couples have, they compare marriage itself with the option of being single again. Even the arguments that happen in married couples are mainly about options. How and where to live; whom to welcome and whom not to welcome; where and how to earn money from; what and where to spend money on; what to entertain and what not to entertain, etc. And most of these issues come up often even with nuclear families.
In the pursuit of living a happier life, wives start looking for the options available elsewhere, instead of working on what they’ve already got.
In this pursuit of living a happier life, wives, and therefore the marriage falls prey to the outside influence; and whenever the husband expresses his displeasure on the turn of events with regard to options, things get ugly and abusive, sometimes violent too! Men, who see marriage as a long-lasting relationship, all of a sudden find themselves entangled in court cases of gender-biased laws, which eventually leads the matrimonial bond to divorce.
So, married couples must take care of the outside influence they knowingly allow in their lives.
When marriage in life is a long journey of adjustments, compromises and sacrifices, this should be applicable to both the parties to the marriage. It shouldn’t be that wife has all the rights and it’s only the husband who not only has to be a good protector and provider but also has to adjust, compromise and sacrifice whenever wife comes up considering an option to lead a happier life.